Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Tomorrow to Madrid!!!
Last night my friend Negar came over for soup and conversation. While I started out positive about everything, as the conversation blossomed, so did my reservations about the big move again (then the tears and a recap of dread and an affirmation of how perfect my life is). Negar is a good friend, she cried right along with me. I felt very listened to - authentically heard. In fact, just having another person agree that this move wasn't 'a big adventure, exciting or lucky' was a fresh of breath air.
For another example, say someone baked a cake and upon presenting it to the birthday girl, it fell on the floor... who would say,"Wow! Lucky you! Now you get to start over and make another delicious cake!" The baker would be mildly irritated to say the least.
It is as though people are responding to my moving away according to some formula. "Moving to Spain + Spain is fun = so your move must be fun too!" Then I am inclined to respond with at least a few minute explanation on what it means as I currently am interpreting it... which sounds like a drama queen who can't seem to be happy for herself. The conversation then ends with how great it will be. They are probably right, eventually it will be great. In the same way that a suddenly single person will eventually meet someone new. But to jump from one to another? - well maybe that is the right thing... maybe it is maybe it maybe
Surely, my blog must seem like a broken damn record.
In fact, I am leaving for Spain tomorrow. Hicham will have already arrived about an hour in advance of me and will wait in the airport for me. We will spend about 5 days there. He will go to interviews and I will meet Madrid face to face!
Surely, going there and experiencing Madrid will bring new songs to my broken damn record!