Haven't written in a while... figured that I would try not to think about the future - instead be here now, bask in the familiar.
Well well well - now I have acted outlandishly. Acted without thoughtfulness, without strategy, without a politician's mind...
Forcing the end, acting like an imprudent -childish-stubborn-boar.
So, even without trying to, I disregarded my present for the sake of the future... but not admitting it even to myself!
As if my efforts to create a departure project that would leave the organization better than I found it would suddenly become recognized as worthy and not merit the detailed inspection and a massive overhaul at the end as it typical with this group.
There would be some who would want my project to become theirs. There would be others that would be afraid of the project. There would be some that would say the money was better spent doing something else.... that they had not done anything about (but to say no to my project). Fools!
Why did I bother? Apparently I forgot myself in the enthusiasm that since I was leaving, that the inevitable change (an evolved, active, vibrant, effective group emerging) due to my departure had already happened IN MY MIND. So much for living in the present.
So it is- after 5 years of working at this place, I am delighted, ecstatic really to leave. Many have asked me how I could have stayed on for so long with such adversity... my answer was always the same, "It will get better, I can always see the glimmer of possibility just there... there in the distance". Not to mention the fact that I have always believed in the cause of social and economic justice!!!!!!
Apparently, I have been living in the future for some time now.