Save the NO for when it matters! My parenting rant.

Note: "non" means no in french.

What a weekend, kind-of stressful for me.  But still it was alright.

Not to say that the festival sucked, it didn't.  We heard/saw smile inspiring, foot-tapping groups from all over the world - but seemed we generally had bad timing to catch the acts.  There were 16 stages and so usually just walking around beautiful Belfort, one stumbles onto fantastic music... or the tail end as we did multiple times.  We would find some brilliant music and find a good place to watch and then "Merci!  Merci!" and then they would play the last song of their set.  We would wander off to another stage and they would be okay, but not great and so our search would go on to a wonderful band playing their last song.  This is what happened repeatedly.  But, still it was perfect weather, great people watching and we were at a music festival so that is cool.  Did catch some fine bluegrass type music, but that just made me miss North Carolina terribly sooooooo...:(

Anyway, we got to see Hicham's dad's new greenhouse and his three-tier watering system involving collecting rain water, a cistern, a well and tons of hoses going in many different directions.  I meant to take pictures before we left, but since we packed up the car and left in a hurry in order to catch some music on the last day of the festival before going home, I plum ran out of time.  What was cute though, Sabine discovering and eating fresh strawberries from the garden as she toddled along. 

Usually when we visit, Hicham's sister and husband also visit the parents' house.  Hicham's younger brother is also there, home from college on the weekend for food and laundry etc.  It does lend to a bit more of a family reunion type of feel.  Hicham's parents are really good, salt-of-the-Earth type people.  They have worked for everything they have and give generously.  His siblings are generally equally pleasant people as well.  Of course, one must acknowledge that cultural bias becomes even more obvious when children are involved.  This weekend was the weekend when my notions of childrearing would have to find it's voice amongst the Arab cultural ideas of raising children.  Disclaimer: I am not pretending to be an expert on Arabs, Arab parenting or even knowing what is Arab parenting vs just a controlling personality... BUT I read a few articles online so.... ;)

When Sabine was 6 weeks old, H parent's didn't want me to take Sabine outside.  They suggested I shave her head to make her hair grow in better.  H's mom is happy that Sabine is still breastfeeding because the Quran says to do it for two years.  H's dad didn't want her to walk around the market because it isn't safe.  And so on... BUT these people have a hell of a lot more experience with

Going to see the in-laws and to rock out at a 3 day Musical Festival!

We are going out of town tomorrow night for three days to see the in-laws, hang out with fabulous neighbors who are also going and to attend a really amazing music festival in Belfort France.  The Festival of Music 2011!  It is a really special festival with a wide variety of musicians from all over the world performing for free at different venues (many outdoors) in a medium sized French town.  It starts Friday night and goes until Monday night!   This is our third year going.  I can't wait! 

Hicham's photogenic dad. (Sabine not so much here, she was about just an infant though)

We will also haul all the clothes Sabine grew out in the last two months to be stored at Hicham's parent's big three story house.  Their house deserves a blog of it's own, let alone a single posting - it is so interesting.  Hicham's dad is a total DIY kinda guy.  He works all the time, it is just his nature.  He will retire this year, but that does not mean he will stop being ever busy.  He fills his days with home "improvement" projects and his enormous gardens (one could even say farms, really).  Hicham tells me farming is just in his blood.  That's cool, everything he grows is organic and wonderful.  Unfortunately, we have never finished off the boxes of vegetables he generously gives us before it goes bad.  And believe me, we eat a lot of vegetables around here, so that is saying something about the quantity.  And now that we have a bigger car, I don't know what will happen!  Anyway, he recently built on another edition to their house, bringing the number of living rooms to a total number of FIVE!  Yes, five living rooms all complete with sofas and coffee tables (Morocco style).

Anyway, ALL that to say that we are going out of town and if you are so inclined and want to check out the festival, http://fetedelamusique.culture.fr/fr/

This pic was from summer 2009 when I was about three months pregnant.  Just felt like posting it because it is fun.

France Second-hand treasures or classifieds in France or how France is really not that expensive if you avoid Ikea.

Might as well continue with the classifieds theme.  The very, very cool thing about the classifieds in France is that you seriously never know what you will find.  This is an old country and it's people tend to take very good care of their stuff.  I have never seen so many consistently clean and tidy apartments or cars in my life.  My French friend Martine said the same thing about Americans, just in the opposite way.  She couldn't believe that we all live like slobs.  And comparatively I agree.  Even when I feel like my house is clean, when Martine comes over I suddenly see stuff I overlooked.

But anyway, the point is that these people take care of their belongings.  Of course, another post someday will highlight how often their unwanted stuff ends up chopped up on the side of the road and not in the classifieds.  BUT, for those who want to deal with it responsibly and make a little cash, they will post their stuff on www.leboncoin.fr 

I personally have spent way too much time on this website.  But it is just so damn fun.  It is like going to garage sales Minnesota style without having to drive and without buying stuff you don't need but you buy anyway cuz it's cheap and you're there.  It is like going to flea markets without the crowds.  It is like going to antique shows without feeling poor.  It is like going to a furniture museum but you COULD buy it and take it home if you wanted to.

It is also a window into how French people live.  You can discover how exactly these itty-bitty apartment dwellers live in Paris.  REMINDER, TO ENJOY THE PICTURES LARGER, CLICK ON THEM.  You will see clever furniture like this:

Why should a sofa also be a book shelf?

1970's dessert tray - apple green they called it.

quaint as hell

And you will see every inch of rooms being utilized like this:

What a brilliant use of space, but how does the kid sit up in bed?

the external view

from under the bed view

Yes, this is an adult's apartment

Of course you will find weird stuff like this:

who doesn't want a church thing in their living room?

i hate and love at the same time, how is that?

The ad said this would be ideal to repaint, wonder why?

yup, it is an antique toilet

And incredibly beautiful antiques for practically nothing like these:

about a hundred bucks. It is HUGE!

I want

Walnut beds

This and the next two pieces are a set that will set you back about 150 bucks!

Again, the fact that Ikea is so beloved here baffles my mind.  We have a similar three piece set as the one above.  I actually like this one much better (damn it)... Here is ours:

Well, ours has a little more storage, which we needed.  (Yes, I can see they are about the same, but I am just telling myself that okay?)  But what is funny is that when Frenchies come over they 100% say our dining room set reminds them of their grandma's house and that they think it is basically ugly.  UGLY!  Yes, really.  I suppose it could be compared to when we see bad 80's furniture.  The American time frame has to be shifted to realize that furniture from 1930 is just not that old here. 

In order to bring the new set in, we had to find a new home for our former solid oak dining room table.  It was amazing really.  It could seat up to 10 people if you pulled out the sides.  It weighed about 200 pounds (well, I am not sure really - but it was heavy as hell) and in very great shape.  For an month, I tried to sell it for 50 bucks and nobody wanted it.  I then tried to give it away on leboncoin.  Nothing!  Finally, I made posters and put them up around our neighborhood and on the same day the new set was coming, an old guy from the neighborhood came and got it.

That is when I realized why all these lovely pieces of furniture end up on the side of the road, unwanted.  Had that man not come and taken our table, I am not sure I would have had another alternative.  But that still begs the question, why chop it up and then put it on the side of the road?  Why not leave it whole so that fellow scrappers can see it and pick it up?  Ah well, we are sadly a throw-away world.

New Car or how driving in Paris makes you want a better car.

This post has been a long time coming and I am sorry for the delay.  My general rule is to post every other day (unless we are on vacation).  However, I have let myself and you my regular reader down.  Sorry about that. So, what has kept me so busy as of late?

In a word, the classifieds.

No, I am not looking for a new husband.  Everyone knows I met my dearly beloved online.  Yup, match.com classifieds baby.  Honestly, how else would I have him?  Although, I am sure that neither of us ever thought meeting for a glass of wine would result in this lil sweetie pie:


I am so glad it did:)
 

Anyway, so, this post was going to be about something else, and that post is waiting to be written.  But, it is still without resolve.  Before AND after is so much more satisfying.  And that topic will be toys!  My philosophy on toys, things I am learning about modern toys and ways to yes, incredibly, manage toys.  But that is part one as to why the classifieds consumed me.  I am/was on the look-out for some organizing furniture.
   More on that later.... especially since it was sort-of put on hold for a different kind of classifieds search.  A new car!

The current car we, a hem, Hicham has been driving is about 20 years old.  This is fine for both of us.  We are frugal as hell, okay, you might even call us cheap - especially when it comes to cars.  Our car does not identify us, we don't keep it tidy, we don't care if it gets scratched, and well basically it is pile of shit and that suits us fine.  It has been a tool to get us from point A to point B.  Except for one thing, I have serious panic attacks in said car.  Why?  Because it is loud, not sound proof and JUST DOESN'T FEEL SAFE!  This car in the states would be fine because our lanes are bigger and cars tend not to tail gate as they do here.   And don't get me started on the nerve-racking roundabouts found in Paris.  OMG.  The round-about concept is smooth and easy in the states, though rare, they do work well.  In Paris it is damn free for all.  Hicham has tried to explain to me "how they work".  But since not everyone seems to agree with him, they are really scary.  Here is a visual comparison:

US roundabout

French roundabout

So you can see what I mean.  When you are IN the roundabout trying to get out, there are cars coming at you from all directions.  And, yes, yes, yes, I know this does not even start to compare with places in Asia or even, Greece.  I know, but hey, it still is hectic and with our car I am just sure that one of these we WILL be one of the many cars we see smashed up on the side of the road.

Also because the lanes are smaller, the cars seem to barely miss brushing up against each other by a few millimeters on a regular basis.  Add to all that, hundreds of motorcyles and scooters zooming in between lanes of traffic and you have the recipe for disaster.  Luckily, Hicham is a very good driver and so that is comforting - but only about 50% really.  It is the other driver : stressed-out, late, fast cars who honk their horn the same time the light turns green, who almost plow into the ipod stairing pedestrians, and the cell phone talkers who literally are not paying any attention to what they are doing that make being a passenger in an old, shitty car frightening.  Especially since our car is NOT sound proof at all, you feel like you are on a race track sometimes.

So, we decided that this summer we wanted to go on more road trips and with friends coming to visit from the states, that means we will need more space and also for me to shut the fuck up as a backseat driver, we bought a new car yesterday.  Well, of course I don't mean new as in 2011 - but a new to us car.  But I don't mean a car either, I mean, a mini-van type thing.

The Scenic

I was sure I wanted to get the popular, ubiquitous "Scenic" mini-van.  It is everywhere.  It appears to be the ultimate in the family vehicle - kind of like the Dodge Caravan was in the 80's.  Hicham read all the reviews and agreed between that or that Picasso mini-van would likely be the car for us.  So, on Friday night we spend the entire night looking at classifieds, reading reviews, watching youtube videos, etc.  We had an appointment to look at some shelving for toys on Saturday morning, so our car quest got briefly interrupted.  We resumed after lunch on Saturday.  Went to a used car lot, saw the Scenic (both versions regular and grand) and were NOT impressed.  What a complete joke.  It looks super spacious from the outside, but that is all an illusion.  The three seats in the back would sit 3 nine-year-olds comfortably.  The front seats were almost as narrow.  Unreal.