Friday, April 29, 2011

What is the Point?????

So, I have been thinking about 'starting' a blog for a while now.  I had started one THREE years ago.  It was to facilitate connection with me and my former life, to share my not very brave new world with friends  and family and yes, to join the masses of cool people who blog.  I guess after moving from NC to Paris, I was consumed with living in Paris and not really talking about it.  Not that there wasn't much to say, and frankly, wish I had - but that is neither here nor there.  I got right NOW, so let's go...

I have read many, many blogs - found many times by clicking at the blog suivant, or in english, the next blog button and roaming around on the blogosphere enjoying the many variations of how people express themselves, make their lives appear and share new information.  A great many of bloggers have inspired me to think about things in new ways, feel deep jealousy at how beautiful someone can make their home look during the holidays, feel lucky at how good I have it, create new sauces and provide insights into life as an expat in France.  I have watched perfect stranger's families grow, change, win some and lose some.  These strangers eventually become online friends.  Probably will never meet them, but in some ways I keep better track of their lives than my 'real' friends who don't have blogs.

Me, age 15, when I spent half my life
blabbing on the telephone.  
It makes me sad sometimes.  I recently read an article about telephone conversations and how they are really, really out of style.  Had I been blogging when I read it, I would have been able to bookmark the link and share it with you.  But anyway, you don't really need a link to believe that long phone calls are just more rare these days.  I can remember HOURS spent on the phone, sometimes even falling asleep with the phone hot next to my ear.  I know it sounds so bizarre now days, but it is true.  I remember watching movies on tv while being on the phone.  Interestingly, I still have long conversations with friends I used to have long conversations with (you know who you are)... but people whom I have met in the last 15 years - with a couple of exceptions, it just doesn't happen.

Many of my old friends tell me that they just don't find people like me in their life anymore.  (yes, it is not me trying to feed my ego a giant bowl of smooth mint ice cream, it is just true).  A few of my new friends have told me how nice it is to finally find someone they can 'be themselves' with and connect with authentically.  I doubt very, very much it is because I am super friend of the year, I have had many people tell me straight to my face that they can't fucking stand me and all my drama (bye bitches).  In any case, I get the desire to connect - I have it too.  That is why I am resuming this blog.  I really, really, really deeply, sincerely hope that I will hear back from people sharing with me their thoughts on what I share here.  Don't hold back, you know I rarely do (but I have learned that I can when I really have to).

This blog is also to share my experiences with myself, to witness my own life as I articulate and reflect later on something that happened.  What I used to recount to good old friends on the phone for hours simply is more difficult because honestly, I think I think slower then I used to.  As stuff simmers in my head, authentic notions are developed.  I am pretty sure that when I was younger I thought more efficiently, more intense, more vulnerable, more open, more quick to tell you what I thought because so much was so interesting and exciting.

Blazing her own trail, 15 months.
Well, I am getting older, more experienced and frankly, sucks but true, I have seen a lot of what the world has to show.  I now get to see my little daughter Sabine as she points with great interest to the little path over there.  She is a little explorer and wants to get the hell off the beaten path whenever she possibly can.  The good news is, while I am her mother and therefore protector, I am also her companion happy to go where ever she wants to (as long as she will have me).

So, okay, here's to resuming a blog, connecting with words my little bubble to your little bubble - together we can burst into a new scene of ideas, sharing, challenges, growth, inspiration, vulnerability, and tons of pictures of Sabine as she explores her new world in 2011.  Please join me (and subscribe it you want to).

1 comment:

gibson said...

Nicole you are a real piece of work! Nice work on the hair dear.