Glitter, chicken pox and SCMtFU

I am back and revitalizing my 21 day blogging challenge. Would have done it sooner but we had some chicken pox in the house and we went out of town and Leo was sick and and and and well whatev. 

Chicken pox are still here a bit yet, but well that's life and we have been keeping ourselves amused.

Paper mache makes the chicken pox blues go away!

Speaking of amused, I would like to start a new segment of the blog called, "Sabine cracks me the fuck up". Eventually, it will likely evolve into Sabine and Leo crack me the fuck up... that is not to say that Leo isn't already a hoot and a half but the segment will involve clever quips made by Sabine. Of course, she doesn't know she is being funny - and that is what makes it even funnier.



So, here it is SCMtFU #1.

Sabine has just finished painting and glittering her paper mache dinosaur egg. After which she has been directed to clean off the table and vacuum the floor (both jobs she finds incredible amounts of joy in... for now anyway).

She comes in the kitchen with the wash cloth for me to rinse off, which I do and return to her to finish the table.

Dinosaur egg with couscous and glitter! (you read that right)

She starts to rub off her hands and is getting increasingly pissed off that she can't get each speck of glitter off her hand.

Her grumbles turn into whines, turns into demands and then tears that "it won't come off! "It won't come off!" hysterics ensue. "I can't get the glitter off my hands! Mama! Help me! The glitter is stuck!!!!!! tears, whines and drama queen in action.


I tell her how lovely it is to have a bit of glitter on her hands, like on halloween.

"Oh" she says, "can I have some more"?

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bonus photo: toothy tooth teeth

Paper Mache instructions from this amazing blog:  Weefolkart 

Before the Kale Party

Missed yesterday, but well - hell, Hicham's dad was here. He arrived in the afternoon exhausted and weary both from illness and his travels. Poor guy comes in the door and his number one fan, Sabine, was raring to play and talk his ear off. So, Hicham took her to the park and I put Leo down for a nap and he napped on the couch

Living in a (nearly!) 800 sq. ft apartment was quite luxurious when it was just Hicham and I - but then one kid and then another one... now it is quaint. When someone comes to visit, we now recommend a hotel. But, since it was H's sick dad, obviously that is out of the question. So, on the couch he slept. But he didn't mind, in fact he said it was like in Morocco.

Kale

Okay, cool.  Later, we had dinner and put the girls to bed. It was then I was planning to blog, but then I remembered that it was the Kale Party in Paris. I mentioned it to Hicham and he suggested I go. By now, it was already 8:30 and it ended at 11pm. It was tempting though. So, I did all the research regarding metro times/walking door to door. I determined it would take about an hour. By the time I got dressed and so on and left, I would arrive realistically about 10. Then we discussed me driving. Yeah, me driving alone in Paris on a Saturday night. If you have been following this blog, you would know that I have spent thousands of hours and euros on doing just this. BUT NO.... I'm too scared. Pathetic. I have hitchhiked in bumfucknowhere, Guatemala. I have driven motorcycles in Kathmandu. I have I have swum in hightide in Thailand, nearly drowning. But, driving in Paris makes me shit my pants.


I decide it is time to break out of my comfort zone and live a little (more). Then I research the parking situation. Write down the address of the parking garage and the walk from the garage to the wine bar. Now it is already 9pm. But, I am going. Then lightbulb and then, "Hey Hicham, maybe you can come with me since your dad is here and the girls are asleep"?

His lovely, kind father insists on it.

Hicham agrees because I pressure him. Of course, HE has to redo the research and look for the parking garage locations cuz that is the guy that I married. He says he found one closer and 10 minutes later, we are in the car and I am behind the wheel.

This is exactly what I need, to do this drive with a supportive and loving husband at my side encouraging my every gear and lane change. HA! Regardless, it proves helpful as on occasion I am befuddled as to what the hell is going on around me. It all goes well and we drive to the garage. This turns out NOT to be close at all to the wine bar and we walk for what seems like forever up and down little cute streets, crossing giant 4 lane intersections, passing brasseries, bars and cafes. The breeze is light and the temp is fresh and we are two long legged people rushing down the street passing the cool, high heeled Parisiens smoking and strolling slowly. I am having the time of my life (no sarcasm either).

Yup, that is what having kids does to you. Just walking down the street without them feels like we are at a party. Listening to the environment around us seems as though we are in a strange, exotic land. Not carrying babies, carriers, bags, water, snacks, extra blankets, sun screen, toys, hats feels as though I am nearly naked.

We can't find the place .. almost. We arrive at the end of a loooong street at 10:45. Okay, so we have 15 minutes to have a glass of wine and eat something made with kale. That's cool. Our standards are so low now that taking turns at the beach to swim for 10 minutes each makes the entire packing hell worth it. Snippets of pleasure have become blog entry worth.

Of course, I had the wrong day. Yeah, place was closed and in fact it is next week. Hicham won't be here because he is going to Morocco to drive his mother back in his dad's car. That trip will involve a 6 hour ferry ride and 12 hour drive through Spain. I will be alone here with the girls. Not sure who is going to have a better time.

Anyhoot, after seeing the place was closed, Hicham suggested we stop and have a glass of wine somewhere else. Shoulda-coulda-woulda... but no, I said we better get home because Leo generally (YES STILL!) wakes up around midnight for a feeding (regardless of what I do, so don't think I am encouraging this).

For the return, we slow to Parisien pace and stroll back and enjoy the time, walking together just me and him. Him and me. It is really nice.


So, I didn't blog - I went for a 20 minute walk in Paris instead. Voila!


If, btw you are interested in going to the actual kale party on Oct 2, here is the link:

http://thekaleproject.com/2013/09/national-kale-day-verjus-giveaway/

Blog Envy and warp speed toddler time (what?)

This entry is a mini-post mostly declaring my awe and wonder at bloggers who manage to blog daily with clever quips, stunning photos of their art projects they did with their multiple children, discussions of their home makeovers, social outings and very often outside the home (paid) jobs. This daily blogging is kicking my ass already and I am only on day 4-5 and I am exhausted!

Granted my little Leo is sick at present meaning that neither of us slept well last night thus I was scraping by energy wise today, but even still. Today, I didn't even get out of my pajamas,  my big project with Sabine today was making different textures with her toys in her play-dough and am about to go to bed with a dirty kitchen. The last thing I feel like doing is sitting here now, on my computer trying to sound literate.

So, this begs the question - HOW in the hell do these people do it? How does a person keep a garden, sew clothes, raise children, keep fit, make good meals, grocery shop, keep the right size clothes in the never ending shuffle of sizes, go out with friends, read books, stay current, have a sex life AND take stunning pics to go along with their blogs daily?

I am on a quest to find my time wasters. I rarely watch tv, haven't seen a full movie in a couple of years (though I do like watching trailers) and have a pile of books waiting to be read. Is it facebook? Is it the search for the new home? Is it naps? Is it huffpost? Where does all this precious, precious time GO? I am not tryingto be ambitious here, nor am I trying to be particularly busy. I know how to say no and I know when to take it easy.

You may remember, I  wrote an entry a while back saying I was taking a break from blogging to enjoy my baby. I am glad I did that, but I want to keep records of my children's life and I enjoy this medium. I also want to garden, read, do paper mache, go to bed with a clean kitchen and of course, spend as much time with my darling daughters as I can.

So, great segway here, today I was hearing Sabine in her room saying H, H, Q O, Q O, H, Q H, H, H etc etc. I peeked in to see what the heck and she was practicing her letters with an orange marker. She has already been" writing" for a very long time now - squiggles, lines, dots etc and then reading to me what they said. That was always interesting. But this time, she was actually writing the letters. I have no idea where she learned to do it, she said it was not in school. We have practiced her name, but Sabine does not contain H, O or Q so ...?

I was curious if she really knew what she was writing, so I asked her - what sound does an H make? She said, ha. I said was is a word that starts with H? She said, hot and hat. Well, I'll be! So, obviously, she didn't learn that in her French school. She was clearly proud of herself and kept on filling the page for about 20 more minutes. 

My girl has gone from a squiggle writer to a letter writer in a blink. I know that time is something we all reflect on at least occasionally, but when you have small children, you get to witness life in warp speed. As they are pulling you into their super-speed reality, you could wonder if you are stimulating enough as you try to do it all.

ON THE Other hand, Another way to look at my faux-self hate is to consider that had I been all up in her business doing projects or dragging her around outside the house, she wouldn't have had the space and quiet to work on her letters. So, I guess it all evens out in the end. But this weekend, we are going to be planting a garden while we do yoga while wearing handmade hemp overalls and I am gonna blog all about it!

Curiosities and Questions

As I was trying to title this post, I reread it and discovered that most of the topics - though unrelated- do indeed revolve around Curiosities and Questions.
 
Well Alright! Baby Leo is nearing up to the BIG 0-9 month mark and crawling like a little glow worm, 6 teeth to call her own, eats a variety of foods and has just about the most delicious laugh you will ever hear from a baby. I think she is typical in that she likes to explore, but it seems that she is the most curious baby ever born! With her concentrated brow-furrow as she tries to do... well anything, she is just the coolest baby.

Sabine is a bike riding (with training wheels) dare devil with more bizarre and unexpected things rolling off her tongue on a daily basis. I should like to start a regular entry called, "Sabine actually said that". For example, like most kids she is interested in her private parts. But she is also intrigued by the idea that we ALL have them. I had to endure her listing every single person she knew and ensuring that they too had a "ZEE-ZEE". Does XX'x mama have a zee-zee? Does Monsieur XX have a zee-zee? Does so and so and so and so and so and so have a zee-zee??????  The cool thing is that in France, boys and girls both have them. So, there isn't the issue of difference yet.

A very sad thing happened tonight. Sabine got a little black baby doll for her 3rd birthday last January. Her name is Louise. She was the favorite doll for months. Tonight when I noticed Louise was not in her spot near Sabine's head for bedtime, I mentioned it. She said she didn't like Louise anymore. I asked her why. She responded that she is dirty. I looked closely at Louise and said I didn't see any. She repeated it and she even said, she wanted to return her to the Monsieur at the store! I asked her where she was dirty, she said "all over". I didn't want to make a big deal about it, because she likes to see my reaction when she tells me she ate meat at the creche (which she does not do). So, I just took Louise out and asked her if she wanted to sleep with me then. Louise said okay. I told Hicham about this painful conversation and he suggested that we give Louise a bath tomorrow and pretend that she was a bit dirty and then afterwards she will be nice and clean - ready for a snuggle.

UPDATE: Oh, how the adult mind functions. So, Sabine was all excited to give Louise a bath this morning. She took a gigantic bubble bath, washed her up, toweled her off and got her dressed and said, "there mama, all clean!". In my defense, I am cognizant of the studies done with little kids describing various dolls and attributing traits to them ... anyway.


This is a big year for our family, this September Sabine will be starting school, but not going everyday as I have decided she will stay home one day per week with Leo and I (for many reasons). Why should other people get to spend the bulk of the best time with my kid? I wish I could do this her entire childhood, but she might not agree. "But, mom! I want to go to school everyday!". The drawback is that this will be on her RECORD, says the directrice. Too bad I don't give two shits, she is only THREE.

Leo will start going 2 mornings a week to Creche... what will I do with myself? Oh... I sure can't wait to find out either! I was thinking it would be to take French classes, but honestly, I doubt it. I will probably surf the web and lay around drinking smoothies.

Which brings me to my latest daily drama. I am a green smoothie freak show. For real. Sadly, I have gone through many blenders and repair and replacement parts and new blenders in the last year that today I finally had ENOUGH when I found that my blender just stopped working again today. This was not a shitty generic blender either. Doesn't matter, these blenders are not made for the craziness that happens in my kitchen. They can't handle what I give them.

So, we are going in. Making it happen. No hold back. Making the investment in my health. Etc, etc. blah blah blah, VITAMIX! If you don't know about this amazing tool, google it now! Now we just have to figure out the best way to get one in my kitchen: buy abroad ($500) and have it shipped and pay the taxes/fees/shipping ($200), have a friend ship it unboxed (anyone?) or just suck it up and pay the European price ($1000). Damn! It is expensive here (except wine and well, except wine only). I will keep you posted. See, questions abound!

Shiny red boat, just yes!

Beyond that, went to The Netherlands about 2 weeks ago. Hardly took any photos while in Amsterdam, but there were a few things I did manage to be impressed enough by to take out the camera.



Here are some of my favorite pictures of Amsterdam bikes:

I just adore the tiny seat in the front compared to the child seat in the back, seems impossibly small!

Wooden box to tote tots.

I found that metal holder incredibly intriguing, it is probably obvious to most what it is for, but it is just this kind of thing that makes my imagination soar. Wine, flours, umbrella, newspaper? The possibilities are rather endless! 

Not often one sees a 2 colored eye cat, next to a boat... in Amsterdam. Rather curious I would say.

Yes, I love Amsterdam. And am eager to go back and explore much more. I took more pics of the other places we visited on this 5 days excursion (tulips galore!). For the next entry ...

Just like starting over!

I wrote the following entry a couple of weeks ago and have occasionally come back to it for editing and finishing.  Ah the life with a busy toddler and a tiny baby!  Well, it is true, my screen time has diminished vastly since I used to sit at the computer during naps.  Well, now when everyone is napping, I try to as well.  Well, at least the pictures are current!
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Leo!

Now that Leo is with us and we are getting to new this new little sprite and new ways of living.

6 weeks old already!

So, at the moment, I am motivated by the variety of (for lack of a better word) projects I am attempting to delve into.  Many of them are rediscovering and some of them are new and exciting.  And honestly, since it has been so long that I have been using or studying French, I would say that I am REdiscovering something NEW again.  I have really lost so much in the way of communication.  I have been told it will come back, but still I have taken one step forward and at least 10 steps back in the last few months.  I am disappointed in myself - all the hours trudging through cold and rain in Paris to get to classes, hours spent in classes, at home studying with software, reading French books in the car, listening to Coffee Break French on walks - etc etc.  The other day, I couldn't even remember how to ask someone what they did yesterday!  Pathetic.  I have been so focused on birth, babies, driving, toddler stuff (next entry on that!) and so on - that I just completely dropped French.  Completely.  So, gotta get back on that horse. (Cheval!)

Sabine wearing her baby like Mama.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beyond French, my other obsession is getting organized, writing schedules, planning toddler activities, creating week-long menus, exercise,  and using my time more effectively.

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I am happy to revisit the previous paragraphs (couple of weeks later) with a bit of optimism - as we are finding our rhythm a bit more.  I must cut this admittedly weird entry short, but damn it, I wanted to post it so I could cross it off my list!  (and quit thinking about it).

As I think things have settled a bit more, I should be able to blog more - something I really love doing.  I have much to share, particularly around toddlerdom and new ways of parenting a very expressive (a hem) 2.5 year old.  Book reviews coming soon!  

Leo's Birth Story

This will be the most anticipated blog entry (for me) ever written!  First because I LOVE blogging and missed doing it.  Since the last entry almost 2 MONTHS to the date, life has been a whirlwind of go, go, go!

What has been keeping me away for so long?  Well, first there was my on the road driving practice hours leading up to the big test (failed!).  Then there was the preparation for my cousin's 10 year old daughter coming ALL BY HERSELF! (awesome!) to visit us for 10 days.  Then she was here and even though I was more than 8 months pregnant, we sightsaw, meandered and roadtripped the entire time.  It was incredibly fun, but afterwards, I felt the full brunt of the exhaustion that had been building.  Around all of this were appointments with various midwives, laboratories, hospital visits and dentist.  AND, no day care for Sabine since it was August and most of the Paris population had left the city for their far flung vacays.  Finally, we were busy with our hypno-birthing sessions (more on that later), preparing for the birth, getting the apt ready to welcome our new daughter AND getting Sabine's big girl bed!  We thought it would be better to get her out of her crib before the new baby came so the changes were a bit more gradual. 

Okay so, whew!  It has been a busy last 2 months and since I haven't blogged, you know I haven't had much time to myself!  But well, things are now much more calm and settled especially with the birth of our new little girl!

Leonora Phoenix 

ended her birth journey on 

September 2, 2012 at 1:05pm

My ranting about the Medical Model of Birth (actual birth story below)

I am not gonna even try to lie, giving birth to Leo will be one of the highlights in my life.  Sadly, I cannot say the same for Sabine - but I know that wasn't entirely my fault and for this birth I was determined to make some improvements.  I will take some responsibility though as there were times when I should have spoken up before the birth, giving voice to my concerns.  And I most certainly should have ignored my midwife's suggestion to not read books.  He thought it better to have "my own experience" and besides he said he would be there to help on the big day.  Well, he was there ... physically ... sort-of :(

And I know "they" say, you cannot plan a birth nor can you predict how it will go on the day.  I call bullshit to that.  Nobody ever says that stuff for someone preparing for a marathon or a big test.  Imagine saying to an athlete, "I know that you run everyday, eat well, meditate, have  the right shoes etc - but hey, on the big day, forget your goals and aspirations and just see what happens!".

Well that is the nonsense that is told to women as they are about to give birth.  There are some who will have their birth plan and will do whatever it takes to defend that plan - even if it means becoming an inconvenience to a doctor who wants to go home and would just rather induce or c-section and get it over with.  There is a lot I could rant about at this moment - and particularly so here in France where there are even fewer options for women giving birth.  In fact, a good French friend of mine even recently asked me if they even allowed natural births in France!  While, it is true most most most french women go the epidural route, thereby inviting lots of other medical interventions to counteract the epidural consequences - natural births are certainly "allowed" - though not the norm.  I will add the necessary and politically correct thing which is to say, of course some women must utilize western medicine to birth their babies and I am very grateful that they exist when they are necessary.  Really I am!  I can think of

My concern is that we women have been manipulated to believe they cannot handle the pain or that birth is a medical procedure when it is usually not.  I mean, pooping doesn't require a doctor.  Having bad cramps isn't a call for intense numbing of your body.  These are both natural occurrences which we deal with on a regular basis.   And yet so often, we walk into the hospital and get swept away with the medical model of birth.  And THEN... when some medical issue arises the woman will say, thank god for the doctor because otherwise my baby would have died!  When in many cases, if it weren't for the doctor intervening in the first place, the birth would have occurred just fine.  Don't take my word for it, research the common consequences of each and every intervention that are typical during a Western woman's birth. 

For this birth, I did think about it and wanted to be informed and prepared.  Allow me to also give credit where credit is due.  Since my first birth (though natural) was a traumatizing fiasco at all levels, I wanted to be more prepared for this one.  To do so, I got informed on every level.  I read Ina May Gaskin books, watched an amazing natural birth video (and the Business of Being Born), read tons of natural birthing websites, and did Hypnobirthing as mentioned in other posts.  I basically brainwashed the screaming women in the hospitals out of my head and replaced these normalized fear mongering tales of woe to what birth can be: getting that baby out without terror, agony or drugs! 

Now you know I wanted to do a homebirth desperately, but try as I might I could not find an English speaking midwife who had availability in Sept.  This was due to 3 reasons. 1) There are few who fit this profile (like 5!). 2). Because they have to be available up to a month before the due date and since that is August when they are all on vacay... 3)The ones who were here were all booked up, apparently the holidays is a busy procreation time leading to Sept births ;)

Logistics:

And so, after a bunch of nonsense (understated for real), I finally found Anne-Severine Desmarais!  Phone: 06 60 86 40 02. I liked her immediately.  She is a new midwife to the Groupe Naissance, there are 2 groups who offer natural births and midwives to follow your entire pregnancy/birth.  The other group, CALM is amazing too but lacks English speakers.  Groupe Naissance is incredibly lucky to have Anne.  She is open-minded, warm and caring.  She is also an osteopath and does humanitarian volunteering in Africa.

She is not yet at the place where she is ready to do home births and so in order to have her as my midwife, I had to compromise on a few things.  Fortunately, none of them directly related to the big day except that we had to go to the clinique Jeanne D'Arc to welcome Leonora out. What I know is this, having Anne as my midwife was worth going to the clinic. 

Okay, so here is the birth story:

In the morning before going to the clinic

I woke up around 7 am because I felt some wetness "down-there" and while my waters had not broken, there was what is referred to as seepage. Even without the big splash, I felt pretty sure the baby was going to be born that day... even though it was 2 weeks before her French due date (and yes they are different).  Then the cramps started.  They were about 7-8 minutes apart.  Luckily, my bags were packed and we had 2 women Sabine knows and likes to take care of her ready.

The really cool thing was that Leo was kind enough to be born on a Sunday.  For both Sabine care and Paris traffic, this was incredibly thoughtful of her.  We had Sabine installed at Lexie's at around 8:30 and were at the clinic by 9:00 am.  Midwife Anne was already there and got straight to checking out my blood pressure and dilation.  I was at about a 3 out of 10 cm.  I was not very relaxed as we were talking, checking out my body and generally being very left brained.  I couldn't wait to start focusing on the birth.

We finally got ourselves set up in the room that we were to use for the birth.  One of the main reasons I wanted to deliver at home, but ultimately decided Jeanne D'Arc was an acceptable alternative was because they had a bathtub.  As a side note, for anyone considering this place, they will be (or already have) installing the large-enough-for-two round tubs for labor.  I think this will be the only public place in the city of Paris to offer this option.  You can rent them though for home births, email me for details.

Oddly, I didn't at any point wish to get into a bathtub.  This was something I obsessed over for months as D'Arc clinic didn't first have them when I met Anne because the previous clinic (where Groupe Naissance used to be and where Sabine was born) had closed due to bankruptcy- and GN moved to D'Arc, where the tubs were not installed for several months during my pregnancy.  Would they be installed in time for the birth???  But on the actual day, I had no desire to get wet.  This could have been my interest in making EVERYTHING about this birth different than the first, where I spent the entire labor languishing in the bathtub.  All that said, I never even went into the room where the bathtub was, but rather installed myself in a large bright space and got out my music, special stone, candles, water, health cookies and rice cakes.  I laid down on the ridiculous table bed.  How shitty are these contraptions? I cannot imagine how anyone thought it was clever to put a large stomached woman who already has an off sense of balance up high on a table the very width of her hips.  There was some thin padding so it could pretend to be comfortable, but it felt incredibly unstable and was of course, metal and cold.  I only used it at the beginning.

I laid there for about an hour doing my Hypnobirthing breaths and R-E-L-A-X-I-N-G that had been instilled in us with the most delightful woman you could ever invite into your pregnancy preparation.  I can be a bit of a jerk when it comes to be people, or should I say, I am pretty critical of experts as so often, they are not.  Or, if they are really experts, they forget also to relate humanely to people.  Elizabeth Echlin was the best of both worlds.  She knew her stuff but kept her heart in the process too.  Elizabeth helped us to move from a scared, negative space surrounding birth to one of tranquility and love.  Because the first birth did some damage to our relationship, Hicham and I worked on how this birth could bring us closer and how we would face this experience together.  We did deep meditations, discussed our visions, learned about the physiology of birth and how hypnobirthing techniques can help our bodies tap into and increase natural pain control.  And of course, there was just Elizabeth, who while is not a friend per say, but definitely brings that compassionate support to birth preparation.  She is also the one who introduced us to the "Orgasmic Birth" video - which was instrumental in re-envisioning birth as something we women were born to do.  I will admit that the title is a bit off-putting.  Not that I don't like orgasms and all, but it somehow cheapens the many and diverse messages and information it provides which really have nothing at all do with orgasms.  In fact, the first time I heard of "orgasmic birth" years ago, I thought in involved having an orgasm during labor.

Okay, anyway ....

So, as I was saying for about an hour from 9:30-10:30ish, I laid on the metal table and got in tune with my body.  I did hypno-birthing relaxation techniques and went deeper and deeper into a calm and relaxed state.  Allowing your body (arms, legs, neck, mouth, chin, hands, feet, everything) to stay loose and your mind NOT afraid - lets the muscles and the cervix have all the energy they need to get that baby moving.  Energy is not wasted (as my with my first) with tensing up the legs with each contraction (or wave or surge).  You just watch it come and go and stay cool.  I then began to worry that maybe I was TOO relaxed and I wanted this baby asap ... I didn't want to slow anything down by just "laying there!"

On the outside, it looked as though my contractions were mild and even short - and therefore, we wondered if little progress was being made because it seemed the contractions were short and mild, but in fact it was just that because I was handling the labor calmly and relaxed.  Even so, I decided to change up the music and put on something a bit more, well danceable.  And of course, then I had to get off that table and dance.  I put in some perfect labor room music: Zap Mama! 

"the knowledge of how to give birth without outside interventions lies deep within each woman. Successful childbirth depends on the acceptance of the process."

I danced for the entire cd.  It was hypnobirthing in motion.  Dancing definitely relaxes me and talk about soothing away stress with arms outstretched  and hips aswaying.  It was wonderful - when the contractions happened, I would swoop down to the floor, take in some air and let it out in deeeep long breaths.  At some point, Anne wanted to go and change into her scrubs for the birth.  She asked if I would like her to check the dilation, I said yes please!  I couldn't wait to hear the progress we had made.  She told me not to be disappointed if there wasn't much change.  Now it was about 11:45 am.  Imagine her surprise when I was at 8 cm.  She was visibly surprised - again because it appeared as though my contractions were mild, how could anything have been happening?  She hurried out to change.

Where was Hicham all this time?  He gave me water, smiled at me, reminded me to relax and was basically just a calm source of love.  When the contractions became more intense and I will admit more painful, I moved on over to the ball and moved my hips around in circles on the ball.  Not sure when it happened but some point Hicham sat behind me and cradled me in his arms.  How I wish there was a picture of this.  But I know how wonderful it felt and he kept whispering in my ear to breathe and relax.  This time it was harder as the surges were bombastic and it was really hard not to tense up in reaction to the contraction.  But he kept reminding me and I kept letting my arms relax.  

Then Anne encouraged me to make the deep ooooooo sounds.  I didn't want to do it, but my goodness,  I tried and wow, did it feel right!  For about 30 minutes, we all worked together, keeping the rhythm, the breath, the deep oooo sound and I opened and opened some more.  When I started doing the sound at a higher pitch, Anne would make the sound at a low tone and I would too, that would instantly bring me back to groundedness and fearlessness.  I felt Hicham's arms around me and the love of our shared life and it was really a beloved experience.  Then the urge to poop, er push, started.

This was the moment when my last birth went from bad to hell.  This time was different, completely different.  When I said I wanted to push, I was encouraged to do so and then so at about 12:30ish, I began pushing and it hurt so good.  The baby was about ready but because I was sitting on the ball, it would have been tricky for her to come out, so I moved over to the birthing stool.  It is like a stool with a hole cut out in the middle.  ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!  It was like sitting on a low toilet - working with gravity and low and stable.  Within minutes of sitting, I pushed our little Leo out. This time, the sounds were loud and not low.  It was as high-pitched as could be, but I couldn't stop it.

Me, Leo and Anne

Anne told me to reach down and hold our little girl.  I will say that for both births, I found it difficult to hold a tiny infant just after having gone through something that intense.  I wanted to just collect myself for a bit before handling such a fragile, delicate thing.  But that is the thing with being a parent, isn't it?  Time to collect oneself is very rare after having kids!  She was very tiny, a mere 6.5 pounds (or 2.9 kilos).  And I held her close to me and said hello about 100 times.  I couldn't think of what else to say.  She remained attached by her umbilical cord for a good long time and Anne left to go do something.  Hicham helped me up off the stool and we scooted over to the stupid wobbly table so I could be horizontal.

Happy Birthday Leonora!

Little Leo nursed immediately and was in perfect condition.  Just to be clear, I did not wear any monitoring nonsense (though Anne did check the baby's heartbeat intermittently) , I nibbled snacks and drank water as I wished, had fresh air blowing in the room, turned the lights off.  After Leo was born, Hicham cut the cord and she was not touched by anyone else or taken anywhere for at least an hour (probably more).  When she was taken to be weighed, it was with Hicham and she was swiftly back in my arms.  We then went to my room, which was comfortable and private.  All the staff there were welcoming, warm and hospitable.  Everyone around me was smiling and friendly.  I almost forgot where I was!  Even the food was pretty darn good. 

Well, so, Leo was born and it was great.  I felt wonderful afterwards too.

Great websites to check out when you are pregnant:


http://talkbirth.me/posts/articlestop-posts/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1595112/
http://www.birthingnaturally.net/cn/position/dance.html#

Sabine growing up! (and wearing underwear to prove it)

Short and Cute Sabine and her puff (hair)

Well, well, well ... it has come to this - a weekly update!  Well, I am not going to fail on my 2012 resolution at this point, so Sunday night: me blogging!  If you have no idea what the hell I am talking about, I decided to challenge myself for 2012 in new ways, including blogging at least once a week.  Read all about it HERE.

"Sabine, where is your puff?"

So,  Ironically - due to the time, I am already failing on one of the other resolutions: to go to bed earlier.   So, sorry to you my dear reader, but this entry will be short, but cute!



It is funny because Sabine's vocabulary is just exploding and I have said a few things around her that she has picked up unexpectedly.  Like, puff.  I was calling her hair puff to Hicham and then one day, I asked her where her puff was and she put her hands on her hair.  Another time, I said in my southern accent, "oh child" and now she spontaneously says it.  She also really likes words that end in CK, like sick, suck, truck or yes - that one.  And then one day, I said "Darn it" and she repeated "Damn it!".  I was like, "No, Sabine.  Darn it!  Darn it!"

The thing about being surrounded by people who do not ever say "Damn it" but rather, "Merdre" - is that the finger of blame can only be pointed to mama.  

This past week we have not gone really anywhere -thus the nature of this entry.  This week has been all about going potty on the toilet.  Oh yeah, baby!  Sabine is basically now potty trained.  Getting to the potty to do number two is still a work in progess, but that is apparently to be expected.   I did the three days in the house with no bottoms on and the little potty in the livingroom approach.  Sabine had already been using her potty for a few months when it was in the toilet room (if you know France, you know the toilet is kept in a tiny room of its own). She used it once and while, but nothing regular.  She knew it was there and often would hoard books in the toilet room and sit there and read.

Sabine in her new undies :)

But then I decided to take this potty training thing seriously for a couple of reasons: One is that she was on vacation, meaning that she did not go to her morning play place.  Two was that she is almost two.  I read somewhere that waiting too much past two and resistance to potty training goes up.  So,  I say, IF they show signs of being ready, (Being able to pull up/down pants, holding it, using language) then go for it!  I mean the resistance thing makes sense, who wants to get up from doing a puzzle to pee when you can just sit there and pee in your chair and not stop what you are doing?

This intuitively makes sense to me.  There are a few other windows that make sense to me regarding transition.  Such as, getting kids to sleep in their own bed (not necessarily own room) by 6 months. And, introducing bottle nipples if you are ever going to offer pumped milk by 3 months.  Of course, these are only guidelines, but I like being guided on stuff that I have no idea about!  I am a huge fan of expert books, websites and so on, even if I don't do or like what they say, it gives me food for thought.

But the truth is,  "Becoming the parent you want to be" has been the utmost useful book of my entire motherhood journey.  I also love "Super Baby Food".   Okay, wow, that was a tangent.  But the point is that, I wanted Sabine to be potty trained as soon as she was ready and she showed all the signs, so why postpone?

Now the question is, will she by age two, make it to the potty to do number two?  Her birthday is next Saturday, I will let you know next Sunday night ... but earlier :)

The world is a playground

block building

Sabine turned 22 months today.  Her room is filled with stimulating toys for the purpose of creating, moving, matching or building.  Along with her books and stuffed animal friends, it would appear she has enough stuff to keep her going and entertained all day, every day. 

threading beads

We do keep ourselves pretty busy - both in the apt and outside/in the world.  But sometimes, ya just want to change it up.

There are, I discovered, some very cool websites (particularly blogs) providing inspiring ideas of new ways to stimulate and play with a toddler  - and many of them are so basic and simple, that you just wouldn't really think of doing them.  It is weird, but I think I can forget that toys (objects of discovery and/or fun) are seriously all around us. 

Another thing is making sure that Sabine gets exposed to activities that I wouldn't necessarily be drawn to because I don't like it.  Math for example.  I am much more open to letters than numbers.  Except for counting to 3 firmly when I am being all serious, I don't usually include numbers in our conversations.

All that said, there are incredible resources: books, magazines and websites overflowing with cool things to do with a young toddler.  I recently got the book "I Can Do It" by Maja Pitamic.  I really recommend this book.  It is perhaps a bit more geared towards somewhat older kids - but not all of the activities.  Also, it is good to get read her ideas and then tailoring them to your own kids' level.  It is a Montessori book.  The cover says it all, "Play and learn activities to help your child discover the world the Montessori way". 


The chapters are: Life skills, developing the senses, language, numeracy and science.  It is a full color book with large font making the reading of it pleasant and quick. 

Recently we did the "pouring"activity as suggested in the book.  Sabine already knows how to pour water from the bath.  But this activity, something that I would likely not have thought of, was absolutely enthralling for her. 

 We used dry black eyed peas first and then incorporated quinoa.  She was all into it, doing her serious face and then looking up and flashing one of her "aren't I cool?" looks.

She also enjoyed (not mentioned in the book, but as I say - you can improvise once you get the basic idea) choosing which measuring spoon to use and which cup.  She basically changed up her tool about every 3 seconds.

A TRAY is highly recommended for this task!  (Hindsight 20/20)

This kept her contentedly busy - and learning stuff too!

On Not consuming, DIY and happiness

Hello to you!  I hope as the season is turning cooler, your health remains.  That is not so for lil Miss Sabine sadly.  She has been acquiring what I call mini-colds over the last couple of weeks.  By that I mean, she has a few symptoms randomly on various days - but then is fine again.  Until today, or should I say last night.  She was hacking all night long.  Poor little puff (hair reference). 

I woke up (seems like) each and every time she coughed.  I didn't have the sense to consider that maybe her room was dry and contributing to the hacking!  Of course, the next day, I got online and looked for some health tips.  You know; immunity building, fighting colds, etc.  It was there I learned about the almighty humidifier.  One would think I would have either thought about it or knew it deep inside my soul since I grew up in Minnesota where the heat is blasting for about 6 months out of the year! 

Alas no.  But knowing and doing something about it become a tad bit more complicated in another country.  First you must translate the word to English so you know what you are shopping for and then attempt to grasp the differences between the models which are all about 3x the cost as they would be back home - but not necessarily good quality.  (Coffee makers for example will average around 75 bucks - and they are worth about 20- if that!).  Don't even get me started on the cost of garbage cans or kid's toys!  Anyhoot, then you think about going to the store.  Imagining bringing a big box on the metro while with a toddler makes me shudder.  Could wait until the weekend and go with the hubby and car and when the hoards of shoppers saturate every square inch acting like the assholes people are when in over-crowded conditions.

Anyway, as a tree-hugging enviro extremist that I am, most of this doesn't really matter since we buy probably 85% of our household everything used.  For reasons of anti-over-packaging, re-using rather than landfilling, (not) fair-trade practices and general feelings of satisfaction when getting something at a fraction of store prices - just to name a few, this is the way to go.  However, there are just a few things that probably even I, wouldn't buy second hand for health reasons and a humidifier is one of them.

But then, low and behold - the internet has once again provided me with an idea that I might have actually come up with myself before the internet existed.  I mean, seriously, am I the only one who goes straight to my good old mac with a problem before even considering a solution myself?  Particularly as it relates to Sabine, the collective mind-hive on the web has definitely taken the place of what could have been interesting live conversations.  Yeah, these are the things I am thinking about these days.  Tangent alert:  AND that is because I recently read ON THE INTERNET that the happiest people socialize SEVEN HOURS A DAY!  NPR's interview with author of ""Thrive" by Dan Buettner. 

A Happy Blue Moon and Pirate.  Happy Halloween!

Well, I am way below the required amount of socializing (with people who can talk) to be thriving.  Apparently, Buettner is specific that socializing on-line doesn't count!  So, all my comments on Huffington Post, my gmail chatting etc. are not making me happy.  I guess I could have figured that out myself.  Bearing that in mind, I have taken on the task of getting out there more and being on the phone more too.  Last weekend, I went to a friend's ethereal and truly splendid music performance, the next day a party and the day after that, another party!  And there is no denying it, after the weekend I felt pretty happy!   Oh, and as long as I am talking about happiness.  If you have never heard of The Happiness Project - go. click. bookmark. subscribe. and bask in the wisdom from both Gretchen Ruben and the people who comment.  Absolutely worth your time - and you will think about happiness in new and profound ways.

DIY spicy humidifier

Okay- back to the humidifier.  I was delighted to be inspired to use stuff we already have in order to put moisture in the air.  AND, even cooler - DIY humidifier can also be used to make the apt smell cozy! 

The crock pot with:

purified water, orange peels, cinnamon sticks, vanilla extract, cloves, nutmeg and ginger. 


I am sure there are plenty of other very nice things that could be included like mint, lemon, apple pieces - maybe even chocolate or cocoa!  Anything that smells good when warm I suppose.  If you have any other ideas, let me know.

Happy Sabine!

 

 

So, tonight, I will put the crockpot on low in Sabine's room - and hopefully this DIY method will do the trick and everyone can get a good night sleep and wake up happy :)

PARIS-DEHLI-BOMBAY (Pompidou Exhibit)

About a week ago, we checked out the very cool "PARIS-DELHI-BOMBAY" exhibit at the Centre Pompidou.  It was (sadly over now) asking and showing, "What is India today"?  50 artisits came together for this HUGE exhibition which explored the following themes: politics, urban development and environment, religion, home, identity and craft.

Sabine in a mirror exhibit

Sadly, I didn't take as many cool pictures as I should have ... being somewhere like this with a toddler is pretty intense.  She doesn't really 'do' the stroller unless we are moving at a fast clip.  A few people have asked me how we can take a toddler through a museum? Well, actually it is more like she takes us.  She pretty much sets the pace.  That is why it is intense, she doesn't just sit in a stroller passively rolling by the art.  Oh no, little miss thing is exploring the scene on her own terms - and I get to follow behind her.   Often times, we will look at a piece together and as she points to different aspects, I will sometimes put words to what she is looking at.  OR, I will ask her questions about it.  (Isn't that bright?  Is that a chair or is it a table? Etc.) 

I can see that some people would prefer that she not be there.  Just like on airplanes, some adults think that children don't belong in the real world.  (What?  Children want to visit their grandparents on the other side of the country too?)  Of course, this anti-kid mentality largely exists only in the 'first-world'.  You go to places like Turkey, Thailand, Guatemala and kids are everywhere and included in the minutia of daily life.  I can say this with first hand experience, not hearsay.  Kids are not 'better' behaved in said countries either, they are loud, curious, high energy and you know, kids.  Yet still, these societies aren't bothered by the younger set ... nor it seems to do they glorify youth (at least as we Americans do).  Maybe there is a connection there.  Elders are revered and kids are included - sounds balanced to me.  Anyway....

The best museums are the ones like Quai Branly or the Pompidou because there is a variety of types of expression there.  Statues, huge installations, masks, video, animation, abstract art, BIG paintings, music, furniture, anything really that can be imagined!  It is fun to take her and more to the point, it is good that is she is getting used to these settings - because we enjoy museums too much to stop going.  It is also very important to me that she gets regular exposure to art and expression - and learns how to enjoy someone else's vision of the world and beauty (or ugliness). 

That is why this India show was particularly awesome.  It exposed in all these different themes, manifestations, interpretation, art forms, materials and textures, objects and ideas: INDIA.  That being my favorite country (and Nepal) it was incredibly wonderful (and of course tragic at times) to see. Oh India, land of contrast, Oh India. 

Sabine getting her shoe tied, with Paris in the background

Believe me when I tell you, these photos don't even begin to do justice to the amazing and thought-provoking exhibit that was "PARIS-DEHLI-BOMBAY".  However for a very thorough viewing of the exhibit firsthand, check out this video.  PARIS-DEHLI-BOMBAY exhibit video link  Enjoy!